I have lost myself. I no longer recognize or know the runner that I once was. I quit running in January 2016 due to chronic piriformis syndrome on my right side.. I had spent 2015 chasing the 1000 mile club dream. I fell short and ran 973 miles that year. For me running 4 half marathons that year was too much on my now aging body. Going through menopause naturally (no hormones) has come at a price. I am tired and weigh more than I ever have in my life (5'3" 149 pounds). I don't feel good and I am not healthy. Some might say "NJ just get some hormones!" I can't as they are what contributed to my Mothers fatal breast cancer.
I have not ran a race since the Hospital Hill 5K. I am throwing away a wonderful opportunity being a KBET runner as they will pay for your races.
I have often felt that running is a great anti-depressant. In the past it has helped me through the day to day sadness that I encounter as the mother of a mentally ill young adult. Thankfully my sons addiction issues seem to be a thing of the past but he will always be mentally ill. His illness has affected me and I use food to numb myself.
Recently our school got a new employee. Running wise she is what I once was (though I was never as fast as her). I like seeing her every day as she has inspired me to try again.
I need to put myself first and get healthy. I will do this by
- Training for the Chisholm Trail Half Marathon
- Weighing myself only once a week
- Learning not to be so hard on myself
- Rejoining the ICT running community
- Helping only ONE day a week with our HAC boy/girl running group
- Eating Healthy
- Blog once a week
- Represent KBET by running races again
- WEIGHT = 150
- STOMACH = 42
